Illustration by Sandra Suy (unaffiliated)

A photographer was readying his studio for the most beautiful model in the world. He had been looking forward to the shoot for months, and wanted everything to be perfect: the backdrop, the props, and the lighting. So, when the model showed up with her people fifteen minutes early, he was caught a little off-guard.

“I have this thing about being early,” said the model with a touch of apology in her voice. “I’ll just go get changed, and we can start.” The model picked one of the dresses off a supplied rack, and changed it on in less than ten seconds. Then, she summoned her make-up and hair stylists.

“How do you feel about keeping the make up natural-looking?” asked the photographer.

“Fine, but that will still take quite a bit of work,” said the model. “I have bags under my eyes that need hiding, blemishes that need concealing, and hair that needs straightening.”

“I just want you to be comfortable,” said the photographer, and, in fact, this was all he could say for he noticed no flaws with her face or hair. Even so, after half an hour, the model’s look was completed to her satisfaction.

“I feel so much better,” said the model stepping in front of the camera.

“Great,” said the photographer turning on some music. “Now I just want to get a few free and loose shots. Just move to the music, and we’ll have some fun.” So, the model did as she was encouraged, and she lost herself in the music. Each picture came out more beautifully than the last. When the clock struck three in the afternoon, the photographer was very pleased with the entirety of the shoot, and allowed the model to leave.

“I had a great time,” said the model, “but I have a few request before I leave. It is a fact that I look better from my left side, so please do not use photos of my right side. Also, my neck has a tendency to look very short at times, so please either correct those images, or toss them altogether. Thirdly, I sometimes look like I’m having too much fun. Luxury brands prefer their models to be serious, so please don’t show the ‘happy’ images until I am retired.”

The photographer wanted to please the model with his photographs, but he was not sure how. Only choosing images of her left side was easy enough, but he couldn’t tell when her neck was “too short,” and the happy shots were his favorites. Within a month the photographer was driven so mad, that he sold the images and the requests to one of his colleagues.

This story was written by Alex Schattner (8/4/12)